Rabbinic stresses
Well, I read Torah yesterday. Danielle, Hannah, Jennifer and any other students who might see this – I feel for you. I felt like I knew my portion, and if you ask anyone else, they might say I did fine… but for my part, I know that I lost my place twice and completely forgot my memorized English translation. At least my Hebrew was fluid. But man, Torah reading is tough – I had practiced out of a tikkun, a book that has the words with vowels on one side, and letters without vowels (as they look in the Torah) on the other side. But the layout of the words in the tikkun wasn’t like the words in the actual Torah! It threw me off, I’m so visual. Arg.
I went to this wonderful forum last night led by a Rabbi Margie Meyer from Cincinnati. It was extraordinarily helpful, but it also stressed me out. We talked about everything in the rabbinate that we’d always wanted to know but no one had told us – e.g. that a woman rabbi shouldn’t expect to have kids in the first two or three years of a posting, and that if a woman is pregnant when she applies for a job, she almost never gets it. We talked about the benefits/detriments of lifetime contracts, that a rabbi should always try and stay out of budget concerns in a congregation, the practical differences of a small versus large congregation, etc.
We also discussed lots of larger issues with no set answers. E.g. how do you maintain a sense of self within the role of rabbi? Can you be friends with your congregants or should you be more distant? What is the line between private and public life? If congregations put you on a pedestal, what happens when you fall off? Some advice will be easy to follow, such as don’t mention your kids in sermons – but, to my utter lack of surprise, most of our discussion came down to “it depends on your congregation.”
The idea of kashrut, for example, is a Pandora’s box. I don’t eat pork, but Jonathan does. Both of us mix meat and milk. Maybe these things will change in five years, but maybe not. Maybe I’ll decide to keep kosher outside the house, but Jonathan won’t. Maybe neither of us will. What happens if some congregants see us eating eggs and bacon at Denny’s one morning? Will it be scandalous, or not? Would Jonathan be treated differently than I, if only he was eating it, and not me? Will people coming over for dinner at our house expect us to have a kosher kitchen?
Many of you reading this are members of a congregation, so I want to ask you all for your advice and opinion. What are your expectations for your rabbi? Respond at will to anything and everything I’ve said above.
This past Saturday there was a Yitzhak Rabin memorial in Tel Aviv, and in class we read a practically anti-government speech given by David Grossman, a prominent Israeli author. I really admire how Israelis can be so supportive of their country, yet not be ashamed or shy to criticize it. It’s the opposite in the States - no matter how much we talk about freedom of speech, I don’t think we’re really that free. Remember the Dixie Chicks scandal when they spoke out against Bush? Two weeks ago here I walked through a 1000-odd-person anti-government corruption demonstration in front of the Prime Minister’s office. Unlike at home, I feel that here every vote does count.
And lastly, here is a picture of our adorable kittycats. Osher is on the left grooming Simcha.
I went to this wonderful forum last night led by a Rabbi Margie Meyer from Cincinnati. It was extraordinarily helpful, but it also stressed me out. We talked about everything in the rabbinate that we’d always wanted to know but no one had told us – e.g. that a woman rabbi shouldn’t expect to have kids in the first two or three years of a posting, and that if a woman is pregnant when she applies for a job, she almost never gets it. We talked about the benefits/detriments of lifetime contracts, that a rabbi should always try and stay out of budget concerns in a congregation, the practical differences of a small versus large congregation, etc.
We also discussed lots of larger issues with no set answers. E.g. how do you maintain a sense of self within the role of rabbi? Can you be friends with your congregants or should you be more distant? What is the line between private and public life? If congregations put you on a pedestal, what happens when you fall off? Some advice will be easy to follow, such as don’t mention your kids in sermons – but, to my utter lack of surprise, most of our discussion came down to “it depends on your congregation.”
The idea of kashrut, for example, is a Pandora’s box. I don’t eat pork, but Jonathan does. Both of us mix meat and milk. Maybe these things will change in five years, but maybe not. Maybe I’ll decide to keep kosher outside the house, but Jonathan won’t. Maybe neither of us will. What happens if some congregants see us eating eggs and bacon at Denny’s one morning? Will it be scandalous, or not? Would Jonathan be treated differently than I, if only he was eating it, and not me? Will people coming over for dinner at our house expect us to have a kosher kitchen?
Many of you reading this are members of a congregation, so I want to ask you all for your advice and opinion. What are your expectations for your rabbi? Respond at will to anything and everything I’ve said above.
This past Saturday there was a Yitzhak Rabin memorial in Tel Aviv, and in class we read a practically anti-government speech given by David Grossman, a prominent Israeli author. I really admire how Israelis can be so supportive of their country, yet not be ashamed or shy to criticize it. It’s the opposite in the States - no matter how much we talk about freedom of speech, I don’t think we’re really that free. Remember the Dixie Chicks scandal when they spoke out against Bush? Two weeks ago here I walked through a 1000-odd-person anti-government corruption demonstration in front of the Prime Minister’s office. Unlike at home, I feel that here every vote does count.
And lastly, here is a picture of our adorable kittycats. Osher is on the left grooming Simcha.
posted by Michal at 8:15 AM
4 Comments:
I'm sure it does depend on the congregation. I was pretty surprised when I attended family dinners at Temple Israel and they served Ranch dressing with the chicken. sheryl
yes, no, no, it depends on the congregation, no, yes, no.
Your delightully sarcastic friend.
At my reform temple, at least one of the rabbis had a kosher kitchen in his house so he could have congregants over for Shabbat dinner or other food based events and not worry about it (a common thing here that I hadn't seen before). When one of the congregants found out that he had a kosher kitchen, she was scandalized that a reform rabbi WOULD keep kosher!
I would think you wouldn't be expected to keep a higher standard than the congregation does.
FYI-one of the best sermons I've heard was a sermon that included an anecdote about one of the rabbi's kids although it wasn't the focus and she doesn't make a habit of talking about them.
This post was very interesting coming from an outsiders perspective because of the similarities and differences between Christian and Jewish leaders.
Why not talk about your kids? Is there a doctrinal reason for topical exclusion, or is it more of a tradition? As far as the separation from your congregation, that is more prominent in the catholic faith but not so in the mormon religion (because local bishops who preside over the congregation are actually laymen).
As far as maintaining your identity outside your role... Call me! I'll love you no matter what!
Post a Comment
<< Home